THE RELATIONSHIP BLAME GAME:
THE ABUSE, THE ABUSED & THE ABUSER
On
the early morning hours of Wednesday the 10th...Maxy of 96.9 Cool FM
co-oped with Nelly of 99.3FM Nigeria Info on her FamilySeries talk show.
They both made an excellent duo over an impromptu topic about abusive
relationships. Somehow their interesting chatter centered on affronts in
relationships to which any keen listener could
sense how their discussions tilted towards nailing the blame on the male
folk as expected,
to which the few (males) who called in mildly disagreed. I tried calling
in to voice my opinion but I'm happy my call wasn't picked else this
blogpost won't exist.Well...I know for sure that there are several reasons why assaults may occur in any defined relationship, no gender should be solely accused since it usually stems from succession of unresolved, pent-up misapprehensions mostly manifested as physical outburst, regardless of which, you may be quite astonished to know that, most Nigerian females in a budding or active relationship would have at one time or more, give in to a sort of wanton masochistic need to be tamed, they achieve this by pushing their male partners to an emotional precipice called provocation. They don't get to see taste limit of his threshold by nagging the composure out of him, no, not my Naija ladies, they do better than the naggiest elsewhere, the species here are just naturally good in knowing what to say or do to get under even the thickest nerves, and nothing really can be done about it.
Haba! guys, this isn't some misogynistic rant and I don't expect you to be taken aback, you have to understand it's a psycho-sexual thing only Freud could clarify better, you just have to figure out how to manage the ones with the tendency if it so happen you're that unlucky and that's considering if her assets (physical and non-physical qualities) is wort clinging to (IMO).
The
into-to of this matter is that there are several reasons to suspect
that we males gets emotionally abused or physically attacked by girlfriends and
spouses more than we could possibly admit both publicly and inwardly. I will
state one out of my few experiences, a particular incident which happened to me
couple of years ago, and the rest which are bound to so happen in my
future. There used to be this female friend of mine who probably
because
is a relative to the people I was temporary work for, she frequented my station to frolic (which I sort of liked) but the twisted thing is, in spite of her
unrelenting lewd advances, she always find my shoulder
convenient to always cry on whenever she needs to quell off the
recurring heartbreaks in her lovelorn relationship with her so-called
lover-boy, it is was a failing relationship she kept enduring to make work for she much believed it could still function as it once was (her claim), however instead, only to eventually
makes the
worst out of her. Oh my! oh my! She made me dislike tears, for the way
she shed hers was horrifyingly remarkable! It was the day I decided to
put an end to her sick lascivious teases by questioning her tiring,
much
repeated sexual superiority in a poking yet challenging manner, she
responded abruptly to my face with a resounding roundabout slap (Gboa!). It was
public, we were heading back from a fast-food, I felt quite embarrassed but no one saw
it sha, except the iron black gate at the entrance. Should I have
replied her by descending few punches on her jugs? I'm not into
lady-beating (only spanking eh!). Should I
have reacted by shouting down on her, at least just to unsettle her?
Well...no, being the female she was, I thought.
I can tell you guys that a Nigerianess' first attack really do count a lot as it could be discombobulating to even the meanest of boxer, especially if it's sudden and heavy, wimp or not, no joke. So there you have it - our womenfolks have done to us more 'assaulting' than our society care to take note of, no need highlighting other subterfuge they employ to justify an abuse, and sometimes very adroit in mount offense on males perceived as wimpish in our schools. Ha! I remember Kristana, the juggernaut she-iron from secondary school, terrorizing boys from SS1 through SS3, this somehow attractive Edo classmate looks more meaner, imposing and combative than both Gina Carano and Chyna put together. Always stomping the class floor with her huge right to remind the forgetful of her puissance. I'm beginning to think she might be the inspiration behind Jennifer Lopez's 'Enough', difference is our pretty, chocolate-skinned Kristy wouldn't have liked J-Lo's character to be using self-defense as an excuse for any female to be pugnacious. Now I'm reminded of the alluring kick-ass female cop - Cynthia Rothrock back in the days, she always gets the job done, and with less violence than the Umar Thurman's character in the Kill Bill movies, C.R. is an original martial-artist/actress whose moves are genuinely sexier than those tits-n-teeth fighters in Bitch Slap, with the exception that she can't be as sexy as those amazons in my bimbo-packed, all time erotica 'Sucker Punch'.
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